Six shadowy figures gather together in a small room, seating themselves around a long, rectangular table and all facing the front, waiting for their leader.  These six are some of the most evil, vile, and not-very-nice people who ever walked the face of the earth.  On the right side of the table we have: Adolf Hitler (second in command), Sadaam Husan (the strong guy), and Napoleon Bonaparte (the strategist).  To the left of the table we have Fidel Castro (the guy who just plain hates the leader, but is still evil), Richard Nixon (the other strategist), and Fred Funnybunny (the quiet dude [the evil twin brother of Fred Fritterbunnies (the good one is my best friend [they’re made of paper (that’s all […why am I still talking?])])]).  At the very end of the table, we have the most evil out of the six: the one, the only…Martin Luther King Jr.?!?  Wait a second here…



A temporary, new location of the camera shows a large ballroom-type setting with some of History’s greatest “nice guys.”  Over towards the side, we see Gangas Kahn have an argument with cupid.


Ooookaaaay…well, it looks like Mr. King Jr. is stuck along the ride for now.  Moving right along….


The room quiets down as footsteps are heard walking down the hall.  Suddenly, the door opens and closes, and footsteps are heard as the leader of the Bad Guys slowly walks up to the podium in the front of the room (which so conveeeeeeniently appeared).  Barely a sound is heard in respect for the figure: the most evil character of them all.  As the footsteps reach the front of the room and cease, two pointy, yellow ears appear over the too-tall stand.

“PIKA-CHU! <Welcome!>” it speaks, somehow managing a Russian accent.  After yet another plothole provides it with a stepladder, we can now see it’s uniform.  The rat is wearing a green rear admiral uniform with many, many medals.  In his hands, he holds a wooden pipe.  As he blows into it, bubbles come out the end.

No longer impressed (and a bit outraged), Castro walks right up to it and says, “You mean to tell me a cute little yellow rat is out leader?!?  I should be the leader!”

“PIKA! <Not a chance!>” Pikachu exclaims as it shocks him.

“Yeah, like I said…you da man” the now-toasted Castro corrects himself, blowing out an anime-style black mushroom cloud before collapsing on the floor.

Taking no notice of his fallen ally, the rat continues, “Pika-ka-Pi <As I was gonna say,>…Chu-Pika-Pi-Chu-Pikachu! <the world will be ours!>”

“Hooray!” The five still-conscious evil guys exclaim.

“But that would be wrong.  Violence is not the answer.” M.L.K. Jr. protests.

“Pi…Pika <aw…shaddup.>” said the rat, “Pika-Pi-Pika, Chu-chu-pika-pi-pikachu-chu. <but before we do, we need a permit.>” it explains.


And so, the 7 evil doers (and a reluctant M.L.K. Jr.) go to the “Taking-over-the-world Permit” center, right across the street from your local drug store.  Standing at the back of the semi-long line, we zoom ahead to see just what the hold-up is, and find none other than Pinky and the Brain.

“What do you mean we can’t get a permit?” says Brain.

“Sorry,” the Permit-seller-dude says, “but we have a regulation: no selling permits to mice.”

“Why, this is an injustice!” Brain exclaims.

“Hey, that’s my line!” Wufei Chang exclaims from somewhere mid-line.

“What are you doing here?” Dorothy Catelonia questions him (she was somewhere towards the front).

“Just running some errands for Marimea.  And you?”

“I…well…um…you see…”


Ignoring the two, Brain suddenly turns to Pinky. “Wait, Pinky…are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“I think so, Brain, but how will the hippos fit on the hotdog rolls?” Pinky asks.


“Baaah…I say we leave here so I, Napoleon, can conquer the world!”

“Keep your shirt on.” Sadaam exclaims.

“….” Says Funnybunny.

“Right, Fred, “says Nixon, “we should leave now.  Then we can get to N.A.S.A.”

So, ignoring the permit-business altogether, the eight jump into a helicopter so conveeeeeeeniently appearing by yet another pro-evil-guy plothole, and fly away.


Reaching N.A.S.A. headquarters about 20 minutes later (“Is there a movie on this flight?” Napoleon asks), they all climb up the stars to the door of the boss’s office.  Pikachu opens the door.

“PIKA-PI! <Give us N.A.S.A., or else I’ll shock you!>”

“Yes, anything…just please, don’t hurt me!” the boss exclaims, cowing from the foot-and-a-half-tall rodent with the devil-given powers.

In conquering N.A.S.A., the eight steal one of the rocket ships behind them.  Hiltler gets behind the controls and they blast off.


Zooming along, they choose to head for the White House in Washington D.C.  Hitler is driving as Sadaam keeps bugging him to drive (“Is it my turn yet?  You already got a turn!  It’s my turn!  I wanna drive!”)  Castro is using that opportunity to lock M.L.K. Jr. in the trunk, getting zapped by Pikachu in the process because he accidentally closed the lid on it’s tail.  Castro and Funnybunny are watching cartoons on the big-screen TV while munching on popcorn, and Napoleon is sitting in a corner playing with Barbie dolls.

“We’re here.” Says Hitler, and everyone gets out (well, everyone who can).  George W. Bush is seen in the backyard of the White House, running on a treadmill.

“Give us the U.S., or we kill you!” says Castro.

“Better yet, give us all of North America!” adds Hitler, “We’re taking over the world!”

“Oh…okay.” Says Bush, “Good Luck.”

“That’s my Bush!” Castro exclaims, pleased with his cooperation, “I should’ve tried that a long time ago.” He muses suddenly.

“PI! <Wait!>” Pikachu suddenly exclaims, “Pi-Chu-Pi-Pi-Pikachu-Pika-Pi-Chu-Ka-Pika! <Just Mexico and the U.S.; not Canada>”

“How come?” Hitler wants to know.

“Pi-Chu-Pikachu <I’ve heard stories…>”

“Fine.” Napoleon says, before turning back to Bush, “Bye.”


All seven, now having conquered the U.S. and Mexico, climb back into the ship to free M.L.K. Jr., steal Bush’s secret-submarine-that’s-not-a-secret-anymore, and head for Australia.  An hour later, they all land in Sidney’s dock, where Governor General Sir Wialliam Peone was there, on his yacht.

“Give us Australia.” Nixon demands.

“Why?” the governer asks.

“Uh…’cause I said so?”










“Good…bye now.”




“PIKA!  PIKACHU! <Knock it off; you’re giving me a headache!>” the rat complains.  Having conquered Australia (“Why do they call it ‘down under’” Castro wanted to know, “It’s not really under anything!”), they then hijack the governor’s yacht, throwing him overboard in the process, and sail to Asia, landing in Beijing, China. 


The President, Jiang Zemin, just happened to be driving by with his family.  The eight people pull him over.

“Pika-Pi-Chu! <We’re taking over your car.>” the rat says.  They drive.  Suddenly, the rat (who was at the wheel) stops, puts the car in reverse, and drives back.

“We’re also taking Asia.  Bye, now.” Castro tells him.  Nixon takes the wheel and starts driving.


“Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer!” all but the rat sing, “You take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of bee-”

“PIKA! <Shut up!> PIKA! <Shut up!> PIKA! <Shut up!>”the mouse exclaimed, throwing it’s hands over it’s ears, “Pikachu-pi-pi-chu! <Stop that annoying song; I hate that annoying song!>”

The all immediately stopped, for it is a well-known fact that you should never agitate an evil, demented, charged-up, electrical, yellow rat, especially with an annoying song.


“Here we are!” Nixon exclaims.  They all get out and look up at Buckingham Palace, located in downtown London.

“We can just walk right in.” Says Castro, “Those guards never move.”

They walk into the palace, up the stairs, and into the Queen’s living quarters.

“Hello.  We are trying to take over the world,” Napoleon begins, “and were wondering if you would be so kind as to donate Europe to us.  We would be ever so grateful!”

“Why, of course, dearie.” The queen exclaims, thinking the short Napoleon was a polite, little boy, “But before you go, would you like some tea?”

“Sure!” everyone exclaims, and they all sit down at a little China-tea-party-set that so conveeeeeeniently appeared (boy, that happens a lot, doesn’t it?).


“Delish!” exclaims M.L.K. Jr.


After tea, they all take the Queen’s private jet to South Africa, where they soon find President Thambo Mbeki, who was standing in front of his house in Pretoria, watering his flowers.

“Give us Africa,” Napoleon says, “or Mr. Hand will eat you!”

A close-up of Napoleon’s hand is shown.  It had drawn-on eyes, the thumb for a jaw, and looks like a face.

“No.” the politician says.

“Then all will feel the wrath of Mr. Hand!  Muahahahaha-(cough, cough…cough)-hahahahaha!” Napoleon yells maniacally.

“Behold the power of SPAM!” Castro shouts, stepping in front of Napoleon.  He holds out a plastic container that reads SPAM.  Opening it, he takes out a greeny, mushy substance and throws it at the President.  It sails in the air before pathetically landing at Mbeki’s feet with a *plop*

“Hmm…the power of SPAM is weak today,” Castro announces.  Everyone twitches, except for Napoleon, who is having a conversation with Mr. Hand.  Everyone twitches even more.

“Piiiii….<Riiiiiight….>” Pikachu says, sweatdropping.

“I’m so freaked out, you can have Africa, bye!” Thambo Mbeki exclaims before running away from the psychos. 

“Hey, Thambony!” Nixon calls out, “Any means of transportation around here?”

“Sure; just take the matter transporter!”


All seven evil dudes and M.L.K. Jr. step inside, suddenly appearing in front of the president of Brazil: Fernando Henrique Cardosa.

“Hey, will you give us South America?” Sadaam asks.

“Hmm…only if you stick your head in a vat of cheese for me.” The president replies.

“I’ll do it!” Sadaam exclaims, and sticks his head in the vat behind him. “Hmm…tasty!”


“Pika-Pi-chu! <now I own the world!>” Pikachu exclaims, very happy with their progress: conquering the entire world in only 8 hours.

“What do we each get, boss?” Sadaam asks, licking the cheese off his fingers.

“Pika <Well, Sadam,> Pi-chu-Pika <You get Africa>.”

“Thank you, master!”

“Pi <Hitler,>”


“Pika-Pikachu-chu <You may have Europe.>”

“It’s about time!”

“Pi <Napoleon,>”

“Wee-wee?” (giggling is heard coming from somewhere in the background)

“Pi-Pika-Chu <You get Asia>”

“Oh, yeah! Look who’s laughing now, Russia!  Your and your freezing weather!”  he laughs, waving/slapping his tushie at the Russians and break dancing, “Who ‘da man?  Who ‘da man?”

The rat ignores this little display as he continues dividing up the world, “Pi <Nixon,>”


“Pi-chu-pika-pi-pika <You get all of North America, except for Canada, but they can keep it anyways.>”


“Pi <Fred>”


“Pi-Pika-Pi-Chu <You can have South America>”


“Pi <Castro,>”


Pika-pi-pika-chu <Australia is yours>”


“What do I get?” M.L.K. Jr. asks.

“Pika. <you get locked in a trunk>”

Sulking, M.L.K. Jr. walks off.

“Pi_pika-CHU! <Now I own the world!  Muahahahaha!>”


So all was happy for the bad guys…..




Ash’s alarm clock went off precisely at 8:00a.m.  of course, he, Misty, and Brock were oblivious to the noise as they remained asleep.

However, Pikachu slowly awakens…only to find it was all a dream.

“Chu? <huh?>” he sleeply asks no one in particular.  Fully wakening, he snaps his fingers in defeat

“PI! <Damn.>”














All around, we see nothing but a pale-blue-screen cartoon background.  From the left, a spotlight shines down upon two small figures who walk to the center.  The one with the large, round head suddenly turns to the other one.

BRAIN:  Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?

PINKY:  I think so, Brain, but after we get the hippos in the hot dog buns, how will we teach them to fly?

BRAIN:  No, Pinky…if we ally with the yellow rat known as Pikachu, we could take over the world, overthrow him, and rule it ourselves!  Come, we must prepare for tomorrow night.

PINKY: Why, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?

BRAIN:  The same thing we do every night, Pinky:  Form an alliance with Pikachu…and try to take over the world!


~cue “Pinky and the Brain” theme song~

V/O: They’re Pinky, Pikachu, and Brain…Brain…Brain…Brain…


 ~end song~


Back to Main

E-mail ~J.C.~